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[27 May 2003|06:58pm] |
planning more Guang Yang shows. lots of artwork and making of posters. my summer has consisted of being outside, long walks, drawing, naked time, wrestling fights, good food, reading, and lots of talking.
walking in the woods everyday with chris, naming each path as we talk of our dreams. gardening time turning into dirt and spit fights, reading time in the woods turning into a naked race with a bloody tampon.
i know that you mean it when you say you want to spend the rest of your life with me, and i mean it too. i mean it in a way that i will never let you slip away from my life. you say i have changed you as a person and i think that together we have changed our outlook on everything that is beautiful, everything that keeps us wanting for more.
we talk about our anger and our love for a loving world, and i feel like sometimes no one but you and i can understand some things.
well anyways i have to register for classes at Evergreen soon, and i'm so fucking excited.
i miss yuki (my mom) and i can't wait to see her in a few months. i'm the daughter in chris's house but sometimes i miss singing Simon and Garfunkel with my mom and eating avocados and oranges.
i'm gonna call my old friend shane from ohio, and visit him before september. we've eben playing phone tag for months now and mostly it's my fault.
job hunting is a joke right now, i've applied to 13 places in the past few days. ah...nevermind i don't even want to fucking talk about this right now.
all i've got to say is that america's 9-5 is the fucking death machine and everyone is too fucking programmed to think otherwise. fuck it.
i'm so psyched about getting rid of my car. i'm livin car-free out in washington, no insuranace bullshit, no getting tracked by the state, no tickets and no fucking traffic jams! <3
oh yeah, the world is going to shit. and for fuck's sake, this is so simple to see.
stop denying that our prosperity is nothing but a dead, disillusional, lying sack of shit that will be the price of our own extinction...
humankind? in 10 years? ha!
i'm gonna go find jenny now.
keep loving, keep fighting!
go outside.
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[10 May 2003|12:47pm] |
allergies suck. i wake up with my eyes swollen for two days in a row. fucker.
the only fun part is instead telling chris that he elbowed me in his sleep...haha..
i'm writing my old roommates letters, i'm still recovering from transitions.
i'm off to new paltz today to see jennypoo! <3
* to those who emailed me about zines...i'm re-printing them on wednesday (hopefully) so they will be sent out afterwards. sorry
ah.....thats it.
oh, our new collective, Guang Yang, is having our first show on may 16th. and it's gonna kick ass.
oh i also got a scholarship-type thing for my first year at Evergreen college. wooooo <3
see you kids. peace//love
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[05 May 2003|01:17pm] |
welcome to
taking the good stuff off of the shelf
welcome to
the art of conversation with yourself.
this is where i am right now,
i'm moving out today.
and i keep letting myself forget how painful it is to leave, leave, leave.
because i'm always leaving.
oh i dont even want to do this anymore,
adios.
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| give me sleep now. |
[01 May 2003|03:06am] |
Freewheel #3 is finally done and printed..
email me or let me know if you would like a copy.
<3 now good fucking night!
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[29 Apr 2003|07:49pm] |
i've slept for 8 hours in the past three days.
this will stay steady up until 12pm thursday.
i am the greatest walking zombie alive!
bye
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[28 Apr 2003|03:22pm] |
hey since my hands are already covered in rubber cement, i'll just glue my eyes open till i finish my papers and my zine!
so i was thinking, about evolution...and how we should constantly think about the possibilities of becoming extinct any given day of when some natural phenomena finally reaches earth.
now is THAT enough to make people live more and break free?
come on now.
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[23 Apr 2003|08:55pm] |
fuck allergies and being sick and waking up with bloody noses.
fuck 9am classes and 18 century economists that all suck and are gonna haunt me in my dreams tonight if i ever fall asleep.
fuck this city and this semester here, i'm done, done, and tired.
i only have two weeks left, i'm gonna stay here on the weekends and sacrifice time with chris cuz i won't be seeing alot of people here ever again.
i have to register for classes at Evergreen. before that, i have to go over the classes.
i have been thinking alot about this moving out to Washington state in 4 months and it's pretty fucking wierd.
i don't know why i'm here..oh yeah i got bored reading about John Keynes.
zine will be done and printed by next tuesday and i'm absolutely not lying.
chris and i are planning to plant a tree on saturday.
byebye
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[18 Apr 2003|12:33pm] |
i got accepted into Evergreen.
goodbye familiar beauties,
hello pacific northwest.
<3
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[18 Apr 2003|12:32pm] |
subhumans for 2 nights!
umm.....that is all for now.
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[03 Apr 2003|01:24pm] |
Insurgent Artists Bloc is our group name. we're working on a collective zine (on top of my personal one...i'm in zine world all the way now.) jane and i are planning another teach-in. i also want to have a teach-in about DIY. i'm making wheatpaste later tonight and pasting all over. stayed up till 5 am finishing up a stencil while dan made chocolate cake. it kicked ass. my projects are looking really good, and i'm really excited. i also got some scratchboards and linoleum and hopefully will get my hands on those projects soon too... my mind is pretty clear right now and i'm taking out my anger about the world in a very good manner; with words, with art, and love of course.
i've been getting great bursts of motivation and inspiration throughout this week and i'm determined non stop.
i miss chris and i wish i can keep him up at night in person instead of over the phone.
i started wearing stickers with as-of-today numbers of civilian deaths everyday.
being banned from all cvs's in the city definitely sucks. i'm still not paying for my fucking tampons. well....i guess i'll just go to the other duane reade arcoss the street..
water's boiling. must drink my tea now..
peace//solidarity//love
everyone should create something today.
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[31 Mar 2003|05:35pm] |
back from boston. spent a whole 4 days with chris. josh oberman is doing well, got all sorts of trashed, had one too many political debates with his pro-war conservative friend (his gf's roommate.) it was really like me and chris argueing with umm..everyone else. some tension. had conversations with josh about ah,i can't even explain it. but we met somewhere in the middle. went to lucy parsons center, got zines and books, distributed my old zines. missed the rally but went to the science museum, it kicked so much ass. talked to Rosie, it was lovely. thought about things a lot. dealt with lots of testosterone. lots of sex in the car. driving home with just our shirts on. inspire, inspire, inspire. 4 hours in the car each way led to lots of talk with chris.
and now, i've got a summons out about my fucking ticket, have another court date thursday morning, missing my class AGAIN. 50 fucking bucks. on top of another court date waiting. have 2 papers due in a week. no silence in my room. no peace anywhere. so much shit to do for Insurgent Artists Bloc. all i want to do is write and and work on my zine and read for myself. not for a class, not for anything else. head exploding again. oh how i fucking hate mondays.
and this made me feel no better. nor does the news out on the tv. i'm going to the fucking library to find some quiet.
peace//love//solidarity;
byebye
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[28 Mar 2003|11:17am] |
im going to boston. woooooooooo!
peace//solidarity//love
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[26 Mar 2003|01:58pm] |
april. Subhumans.
that's all i've got to say.
<3
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[25 Mar 2003|07:11pm] |
i wish i didnt have so much damn responsibilities. then again, i'm just tired of rushing school work and having these responsibilities clash with my other own personal engagements. grr.
i was nominated for an SVA Women's Leadership Award.. i'm psyched, the reception is on wednesday. although...i actually dont like the idea of awards at all. but, its a pat on the back anyways.
And and and! Kathleen Hanna (BIkini Kill, Le Tigre) is coming to speak at SVA! It's a panel wth five women artists from all backgrouds, and we're going to talk about evolving feminist ideas and the different images of feminists and women throughout the years. i'm so excited..it should be a great event.
On the other hand..........................nevermind. yeah.
Stencils stencils stencils. no time. zine. no time. sleep???
court. money. no money. sell keyboards. want bike. amsterdam money. hmm. ramble, ramble, ramble.
bye!
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[22 Mar 2003|07:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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inspired |
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music |
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david rovics |
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the recent horrendous actions taken by our government against Iraq has taken my body into drastic physical and emotional actions.
i got arrested on thursday, the morning after the 'official bombing' started. chris, mclean, jake, demetrius, and myself did a non-violent civil disobedience action; we formed a human chain with pvc piping lockboxes and blockaded Rt4 eastbound, stopping rush hour traffic of the city-commuters at 6:30 in the morning. it kicked ass. we had everything planned, a support crew, deployment team, media outreach, and ourselves. we pissed off a lot of people and got spat on, but we also blocked a lot of traffic, made our statement, and got media coverage. the cops pulled us out of the highway after about 15 minutes, and were morons and couldnt figure out how or even the fact that we were locked together inside the pipes. we were laying on the ground as they tried to unlock us, i remember the feeling i had looking up at the sky, 3 helicopter newscasters circling above us. we were in jail for very little time, and got off with obstruction of highway, a disorderly persons charge. not bad at all. we still have court dates along the lines, but shit, it was such a great experience and i'm so proud of all of us and myself for putting ourselves out there like that.
We were on Fox news breifly, and got front page and a full page in the Bergen Record.
Our court case was also covered in the Record today. We are going to raise our fines by putting on shows and such.
Today, the protest in NYC was fucking amazing. it really might have been the largest march i have ever participated in. so much energy, so many youth, old folks, babies, women, men, everyone. we will keep ourselves out there for as long as it takes... our voices are so loud together and it's the best feeling. we are the army of lovers that Bush wont be able to ignore.
ive been ditching a lot of school work and my friends at school though, i have to get back at them.
getting arrested with my best friend and lover was really a great experience. i learned alot about myself and chris over this past week. i'm going to miss him so goddamn much and it sucks even more that i always have that in mind.
but im also still waiting for my acceptance letter. my my my...
i'm writing a paper about Hannah Hoch..and its very fun.
in 2 hours...i will be in zine making mode.
i got my Culture Jamming video over this week. yay.
KEEP LOVING, KEEP FIGHTING. and eat more mangos!
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[26 Feb 2003|04:58am] |
I'm gonna speak at another forum on the war next tuesday. it's pretty cool.
ATTENTION: remember March 5th is "day of outrage". suspend classes, work, and stop 'normal business', because we are coming closer to war. and we can't stay unheard. and next week should mark one of the biggest student anti-war movements. JUST DO SOMETHING! stay home and think about what is going on...read..go to a film screening, speak-outs, organize something of your own.
anyways i don't know exactly why i'm up at 5 in the morning, eating strawberries, and looking at Gustave Courbet's paintings. they really kick French Academy's ass.
So i'm on a writing splurge, which is pretty exciting. i can't stop writing things. mostly poetry and some essays. i think i'm gonna visit the abc zine library...
stencils this weekend. woooo....
snorting roommate, woooo....
yeah i hate talking to chris over the phone because i just want to talk to him in person. i wish we went to school together and i can share all the things i go through everyday with him and he can do the same with me. it just sucks this way, it really does.
i hope we go to amsterdam at the end of this semester.
i'm impatient for my Evergreen reply.
i have absolutely nothing to say but that i don't want to write in this anymore,
keep loving, keep fighting <3
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[24 Feb 2003|03:56pm] |
you call me up to tell me that you feel like shit and that you've been throwing up all morning. for some reason, now my stomach feels upset and i'm too tired to do anything right now.
how strange.
holyfuckingchrist i can never get Freewheel 3 done.
errrr.....yeah.
i have never felt this much grievance against the winter until this year- cold, smelly, lonely, dirty NYC.
i hate you, and i hate what you make me become sometimes,
and that is a hibernating, achy-boned, fueled-but-exhausted girl.
keep loving, keep fighting
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[22 Feb 2003|01:36pm] |
"art is why i get up in the morning
but the definition ends there
and it doesn't seem fair
that i'm living for something i can't even define
there you are right there in the meantime"
that is all. i started a new journal this morning, the one that chris's mom gave me for christmas. lately i feel really choked up inside. last week i couldn't write. i'm confused about things a lot, and i'm moody as fuck. good god.
the forum went well last night, i blanked out a little bit during my presentation but all went well. the guys from the Young Republican Party were morons in suits and i think that simply most people who are for this impending war don't have the justifications nor the facts to back it up -because well, there really are none.
i've been playing guitar a lot. wrote some cool stuff, and i'm also learning lots of ani songs, which makes me a very happy girl. i can't wait to see her in march.
i feel strange. i'm gonna brush my teeth now..
peace//solidarity//love.
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[20 Feb 2003|01:33pm] |
ATTENTION: ALL WOMEN
NY ANSWER (Act Now To Stop War & End Racism) Invites You
To A City Wide Planning Meeting.
SAT., FEBRUARY 22, 3:30 PM
At the ANSWER New York office, 39 West 14TH ST. ROOM 206,
between 5th & 6th Avenues in Manhattan.
Come and discuss ideas for organizing for an International
Women's Day protest in New York City on Saturday, March 8
in solidarity with the women of Iraq and to demand money
for human needs, not war and racism.
Together we can find ways to reach out to women (and men)
of all nationalities, ages, walks of life, sexual
preferences, genders, skills and abilities build this
march. We want to stop Bush's drive to colonize the whole
world at the expense of our living standards at home. We
will discuss the connection between the war and budget
cuts including Mayor Michael Bloomberg's planned cuts in
New York City.
Call 212-633-6646 for more information Pick up March 8th
literature at the ANSWER office.
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[18 Feb 2003|02:59am] |
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mood |
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music |
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the beta band |
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ah...sometimes your words are so predictable and i hate it that i know you so well.
or that i tend to think the worst of situations.
it's alright..it's 3am, moodiness comes naturally.
er..goodnite.
i drew a skull tonite and it came out pretty cool.
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